Where do I begin? At this moment, I feel like crawling in a hole and dying. Seriously. About 7 weeks ago I met this girl at the grocery store (parents own sushi stand) and we started talking. I felt instantly comfortable with her as if we  had known each other all of our lives. It was a very peaceful feeling; the kind when you have been with someone a long time; and neither of you really have to speak in order to communicate. In general she is just average looking; but something about her smile; eyes; and personality just captures me. I find myself smiling every time she crosses my mind. So for the last 7 weeks, I have been visiting her once a week for 5-10 minute conversations to slowly get to know her. She seems shy, and so I wanted to be careful not to scare her off. If anyone knows me; "slow" is not something I do. Once I want something, I just go for it. I mean, why waste time playing games? So for me to wait things out this long, and not ask her out was a miracle. So proceeding with caution, I contemplated a simple way to determine if she liked me as well. I really couldn't think of one without "blowing my cover" -- I mean, worse case scenario if she didn't like me; I would still want to be friends; after all I shop at this grocery store also. So today, I really didn't have a plan when I initiated our weekly conversation. But for some reason I found myself asking her how her dad felt about interracial dating. She replied, "Not so well"... So then for some reason I asked the follow up question, "How do you feel about interracial dating?" -- In which she replied, "I prefer to date a Korean guy." -- There really wasn't much for me to say. I really hadn't scripted a rebuttal conversation. So I mumbled feebly "Oh, well... I was just curious". Seeing that I was fumbling a bit, she changes the subject to ask me what I have in my cart. We go through the various items I am purchasing (corn, pasta, bananas; etc.); then bid her farewell. I tried to keep a very neutral feeling until I was around the next aisle; as it is impossible for me to hide my feelings. So I feel "beat down" at the moment. It is that feeling that all you want to do is crawl up in a comforter in the dark and watch movies; completely alone. The last girl I liked was from my church. But she moved away to Chicago last year. And I am unsure whether she will return or not. For the most part, I believe she is looking for a rich handsome doctor; in which case, I do not fit the bill. In the past few weeks I have met many people online with personalities similar to mine; which I found surprising, and nevertheless happy to know that I wasn't alone in this regard. For a sweet guy, I sometimes wonder why I do not have a girlfriend. After all, whomever I am with will be treated like a princess. My last g/f can vouch for me. But who is open minded enough to give me a chance; much less deal with the interracial aspect? I grow weary (and leery) of making any effort at all.Yet, I know without some effort nothing may happen. I do not wish to spend my life alone. Life is about sharing. But I am so very tired. If all I wanted to do was jump from one girl to the next and be a "playa"; then it probably wouldn't matter as there would be no feelings involved. But I am looking for something real; a special connection; with only one person; and that requires opening my heart; and the possibility of it being broken.

I won't go into the multi-million dollar deals I have had the opportunity to be a part of; or how close I have been to having to never work again in my life. I have learned a great deal. Let me sum up some things that may help others.

1. Create the Image: What do I mean? How does the world see you? How are you perceived by others? We live in a society where people judge one another; summing others up quickly. They say first impressions are important. That is an understatement. It is a psychological fact. When a person meets you for the first time they create an "anchor" in their mind; an association embedded forever. You must study the images other successful people project in the area you are pursuing. Pay attention to their mannerisms; the way they dress; speak; walk; carry themselves. They are in effect, your model. Mimic these behaviors; and you yourself will achieve similar results. But image is more about setting the "stage"; laying the groundwork for the next step. This step would include any promotional materials; photo shoots; websites; business cards; etc. that support this "image". Image is everything.

2. Law of Attraction: When you have the proper image; things will begin to change. You will begin to attract the kind of people who can help you. Likes attract likes. They know one another. They feel comfortable with each other. They associate and help one another. When you "project" the image that you are "one of them"; they will befriend you. What you project; you will receive back. Example: You surround yourself with drug dealers; you will attract drug dealers. etc.

3. Build your Team: No man is an island. You can achieve nothing without the help of others. Once you attract the people you need; you must sort them according to those that can help you achieve your dream. Surround yourself that have already achieved the results you are looking for. They will become your unofficial mentors. Pay attention to them; ask questions; propose projects; and in return, they will propose projects with you. Keep the most valuable contacts in your "inner circle"; this will become your team. You are only as good as your team; so be careful who you choose. Another reason for building a team is to leverage the intellect of others. Ford had a sixth grade education; but he was wise enough to surround himself with people smarter them him. He was able to build the car empire that exist today.

4. Open your Mind: You have to be able to see the possibilities; the potential in everything. Once you decide what it is you want to do; you must formulate a plan. Do not be afraid to dream. Whatever you do must be truly inspiring to you; otherwise you will lose interest. Dream big; it takes the same amount of effort to accomplish something small as it does big. But there is of course, a big difference in the reward received. Once you know the project you want to pursue than you can move to the next step.

5. Formulate a Plan: Usually when I have a project I will break it down into a "grocery list". Every project consist of a series of steps. I outline the steps and what will be required at each step in the way of money; resources; people; etc. -- This also helps to determine if you have any "gaps" in your thinking. This becomes a loosely formed business plan; which may be expanded on later when it comes to "pitching" or "acquiring financing". At this point, I will assign as many "grocery list" items to my team members as possible. Whatever is left, I will go about networking to fill in the gaps.

6. The Power of Networking: People are resources. They bring knowledge/expertise, money, and time to projects. If you don't know how to network; now is a good time to learn. Networking is nothing more than making "connections" with people. It helps to have a genuine interest in others; as it comes more natural. By taking an interest in others; making new friends; asking questions; you can get an idea of what that person has to offer your project. Everyone has something to offer; even if it is a referral to someone else who can help. Where to network? Everywhere. But you get better results if you network in areas that are associated to your project. For example, if i choose to build a hi-rise loft, then I might network through the local real estate builders association. Which brings up an interesting point. Join as many associations as possible; get involved in local organizations; serve on boards. This opens up your opportunities.

7. Take Action: Now that you have your plan outlined; your team in place; and remaining gaps filled in; it is time to execute. This is probably the biggest obstacle for most people; the ability to actually take action. Fear is an even greater motivator than success sometimes. It may cause us to "freeze" unable to move forward past the drawing board. You must take action, even if it is not perfect; you can adjust later. No action is 100% failure before you start.

8. Believe in Yourself: You must believe in yourself; chances are, no one else will do it for you. Be careful who you share your plans with. Many friends and family will tell you it can't be done. They mean well; but you must ignore them and push forward anyway. In many cases, they feel like failures; and unconsciously want to hold you down so they do not have to feel uncomfortable with the level of achievement (or lack of) it in their lives. Just recognize this up front for what it is; as it has nothing to do with you. I personally use people's negatively to drive me. The anger that someone close doesn't believe in me drives me to prove them wrong. Use your emotions to drive you to your goal; turn a negative into a positive.

9. Envision Success: You must believe that you can achieve your goals. Spend time imagining how your project will evolve; how it will be successful; and how your life will change as a result of that. Imagine the house; or new car; or whatever if your primary motivation. When imagining actually "feel" the feelings. By attaching "emotion" to your vision, you anchor it in your mind. Do this daily. This brings up another point, make sure that the primary motivation for your projects success is worthwhile. I like to attach "goodwill" aspects to my projects; as it adds an additional motivator when the first one may waver. Goodwill aspects may include taking some of the money from the project's success to fund a homeless shelter; or abused children.

10. Adapt: As the project unfolds you must pay close attention to whether you are getting the results that you need. Do not be afraid to change direction if something is not working. Your "paper" road map is nothing more than a loosely formulated plan for an end result; but as we all know, there are sometimes several way to get to the same place. Be flexible in your approach. Every project will have unforeseen obstacles; road blocks; you must be able to continue moving forward every day. If you make progress every day; you will eventually reach your goal.

11. Goals: When formulating your plan be sure to include goals and milestones to be met. This helps to judge your progress within the project. Without that, it is like swimming in the ocean; you have no idea whether you have swam 1 mile, or 20. Make your goals realistic, but insure that you are always moving forward.

12. The Power of Positive: People who are positive are infectious; people just naturally want to be around them. It makes them feel better about themselves. The same goes for projects. When discussing anything, always be as positive as possible. When others see your enthusiasm they will want to be involved in your project as well. And it never hurts to have too many people working towards a common goal. Instead of saying things like "There's no way..." -- Instead, learn to re-frame comments using a positive spin. Say, "If we could do this... How would it be done?" -- This gets your mind thinking of the possibilities. Our mind is nothing more than a computer. If you ask it a genuine question expecting an answer; it will work overtime trying to find a solution. Small changes in the words we use make a big difference in how our mind processes things.

13. Pitch, Pitch, Pitch!: Everywhere you go, constantly pitch your project. It is an aspect of networking; but remember, you are the product. Look for opportunities at every turn to get the word out about your project. This helps to garner support for your project; indirectly and directly. Have a 30 second "elevator speech" down pact; so you can spill at a moment notice. You may only get 30 seconds to get your point across. Remember every person you meet has something valuable to offer; you must "mine" for the hidden gold.

14. The Power of Persistence: If you gave up at the first sign of failure; that is all you would have; failure. You must push forward long after your brain has lost all logical sense. There really is no such thing as failure; as long as you keep trying. If you get knocked down; you regroup; replan; and try again. But never; ever, quit.

15. Refuse Failure: Refuse to fail. There is no such thing as failure; only new opportunities to succeed. Let your team know you refuse to fail. Do not accept excuses from anyone.

16. Lead by Example: Do not ask your team members to do anything you wouldn't do yourself. I personally like to lead by example, then pass off to someone else on the team "trusting" them to finish; and monitoring things. By showing trust, they are more apt to not let you down. Also by leading by example, you are showing everyone that you are in the project together; that you are not anymore special than anyone else. This creates a bond between your teammates.

17. Believe In Your People: Have faith in your team to accomplish it's goals. When you believe in others, they will be more likely to try harder to not let you down. They will go out of their way to impress you. I know a millionaire that makes 8 million a year; when his employees ask him what he wants done; he will reply positively "Surprise me!" -- This in turn places some pressure on the employee but at the same time conveys the faith that the owner has in the employee.

18. Reward Others: When a team member does something well; reward them. It could be as simple as a compliment; a slap on the back; a "good job" in front of peers. Sometimes the more rewarding things are not money; but the feeling we obtain from a job well done. The number one reason most people leave work places is a lack of feeling appreciated. Reward your team and let them know you value them.

19. Charity: Once your project is a success, give something back to the community in the way of charitable organizations. The goodwill aspect of this will come back positively to you in the future.

20. Project Success: You are only as good as your last project; so make it a success and next time you bring a project, people will be more likely to want to get involved.

21. Not the End: Success is not the end. The true enjoyment comes in the "race", not the finish line. Once you are successful, look for other projects to work on.

These are just a few tips. Good Luck!

Lately, I have taken a few personality test to determine my personality type. One of the personality test place me at .05% of the total population; the other at 8.5% of the population. The test I took were "Enneagram" and "Jung". I also took a left/right brain test; and it places me roughly "centered brained". My results are below.

The Portait of the Counselor (INFJ) (Visionaries, Confidant)

INFJs, making up an estimated 1% of all people, are the most rare type (males even more so). They are introspective, caring, sensitive, gentle and complex people that strive for peace (TRUE) and derive satisfaction from helping others (TRUE). INFJs are highly intuitive, empathetic and dedicated listeners (TRUE). These traits tend to act as a "tell me what's wrong" sign on their forehead, hence the nicknames Confidant, Counselor or Empath. INFJs are intensely private (TRUE) and deeply committed to their beliefs. Artistic and creative (TRUE), they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities (TRUE).

INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes (TRUE). Readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect. Tends to be an observer (TRUE) and avoidant (TRUE); focusing on fantasy than reality. Generally, creative and smart (TRUE), has inherent fear of doing the wrong thing.

Suited best for these types of jobs: Computer Programmer, Computer Specialist, Consultant, Designer, Entrepreneur, Lawyer/Attorney, Psychiatrist, Phycologist, System Analyst.

INFJ (Introverted 11%, Intuitive 12%, Feeling 62%, Judging 1%)

The Counselor Idealists are abstract in thought and speech (TRUE), cooperative in reaching their goals, and enterprising and attentive in their interpersonal roles (TRUE). Counselors focus on human potentials (TRUE), think in terms of ethical values, and come easily to decisions. The small number of this type (little more than 2 percent) is regrettable, since Counselors have an unusually strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others(TRUE) and genuinely enjoy helping their companions (TRUE). Although Counselors tend to be private(TRUE), sensitive people (TRUE), and are not generally visible leaders, they nevertheless work quite intensely with those close to them, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes with their families, friends, and colleagues. This type has great depth of personality; they are themselves complicated, and can understand and deal with complex issues and people (TRUE).

Counselors can be hard to get to know (TRUE). They have an unusually rich inner life, but they are reserved (TRUE) and tend not to share their reactions except with those they trust (TRUE). With their loved ones, certainly, Counselors are not reluctant to express their feelings (TRUE), their face lighting up with the positive emotions, but darkening like a thunderhead with the negative. Indeed, because of their strong ability to take into themselves the feelings of others (TRUE), Counselors can be hurt rather easily by those around them (TRUE), which, perhaps, is one reason why they tend to be private people (TRUE), mutely withdrawing from human contact. At the same time, friends who have known a Counselor for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that they are inconsistent; Counselors value their integrity a great deal, but they have intricately woven, mysterious personalities which sometimes puzzle even them (TRUE).

Counselors have strong empathic abilities and can become aware of another's emotions or intentions -- good or evil -- even before that person is conscious of them.(TRUE) This "mind-reading" can take the form of feeling the hidden distress or illnesses of others (TRUE) to an extent which is difficult for other types to comprehend.

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook (TRUE), INFJs tend to be idealists (TRUE), and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers (TRUE). This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes (TRUE) to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals (TRUE) as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts (TRUE) because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts (TRUE), who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few (TRUE) from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves (TRUE), sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." (TRUE) As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type. (TRUE)

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil (TRUE). The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities (TRUE) often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened (TRUE) in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. (TRUE)

• INFJs value personal interactions with others that are not superficial. They prefer one-on-one relationships as opposed to groups. (TRUE)

• INFJs protect their inner selves by choosing what to share; and who to share it with. By holding back, they may appear secretive. (TRUE)
• INFJs are very sensitive to conflict; and stress themselves easily over it. (TRUE)
• INFJs are generally perfectionists who view themselves as always falling short of their full potential. Because of this, they have high expectations of themselves and are constantly trying to live up to the image they hold themselves to. They often do not celebrate accomplishments. (TRUE)
• INFJs are gentle and easy going people; who are natural nurturers, patient, devoted/loyal, and protective individuals. (TRUE)
• INFJs are happiest when concentrating on their ideas, ideals, and inspirations. (TRUE)
• INFJs prefer talking openly and honestly with others; generally one-on-one or in small groups. (TRUE)
• INFJs are often surprised by the necessity of being political; and resent non-transparency and “playing games”. They use a low-key, soft, yet intense and determined course of action to get things accomplished. They lead by winning others acceptance of their ideas as opposed to demanding it. (TRUE)
• INFJs discussing feelings with close friends can be very special to INFJ’s; even though INFJ’s may not share much directly about themselves. (TRUE)

IN LOVE

They tend to become attracted to someone special and prefer this one deep relationship over many superficial ones. INFJs want to give love and to be loved. They enter into relationships just to be cared for, even when the person is not right for them and they suspect it. However, when they meet that special person, they are quick to get into the relationship and make it a serious one. They will end their other relationships in order to pursue their loved one. They become very focused, intense, and direct in that pursuit. (TRUE)

AT HOME

As mates, INFJs are usually devoted to their spouses. INFJs need and want harmony in their homes and find constant conflict, overt or covert, extremely destructive to their psyches. Their friendship circle is likely to be small, deep, and longstanding. As parents, INFJs usually are fiercely devoted. They usually are concerned about the comfort of a home and most especially the comfort, physical health, and emotional well-being of both mates and children. (TRUE)

COMPATIBLE WITH

Idealist Women tend to be very romantic. They love to give and receive tokens of affection, such as an original poem, a hand carved box, or an item which reminds them of some shared experience. Men often appreciate their compassion and empathy along with their belief in others. When dating, they hope to get to know one another through deep conversation. (TRUE)

Here is a glimpse of the new Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4 that was barred at Geneva 2008. The Gallardo LP560-4 is the successor of the most successful Lamborghini model of all time. With a suggestive name, the car delivers 560 horsepower at 8,000 rpm via a 5.2-liter V10 engine. No prize for guessing that 560 from the name stands for horsepower while 4 denotes all wheel drive. Powered with this, it can zoom at 62 mph in an amazing 3.7 seconds.

If you want to see me standing next to one; check out my previous post.

Here are some additional photos. I think I can purchase one of these used for $100,000 - That would be a reasonable price compared to the usual $300,000 for a new one. Body style has not changed significantly the past few years; and owners usually take good care of the cars; which generally have low mileage. Definitely a goal of mine. Here is a model in yellow.

  Here is another model in orange.

These are totally cool mimobots. They are USB Memory Sticks disguised as characters. They come in 1G for $39, 2G for $59, and 4G for $99 -- You can find more characters on their website.

This is an interesting question. In some ways "Yes"; in some ways "No".

Yes. I would like to get married at some point. I mean, it is on my list of things to do right? I would hate to imagine life without someone special to share it with. That would seem a bit lonely. However, I have not entered into a serious relationship with anyone; and I suppose that would be the first step. The last relationship lasted 4 years, and we were engaged to be married (at some point); but getting a firm date from her was difficult. So after a while I quit pressing the issue. After all, I do have a ring already; just waiting for the right person. I have not dated going on 5 years now. Mostly, I just do not feel like making an effort. Maybe I am lazy in this aspect; but it seems too tedious in the beginning trying to sift through all the prospects; and then trying to establish a relationship. I wish they sold  a  "RELATIONSHIP-IN-A-BOX-KIT" -- I would totally buy it. One problem I have is: I can't stand to play games; I like being direct and honest; and it is difficult to find someone who will be the same. Initially, I had hoped to find someone from church; but that idea is quickly dwindling, as I suppose that predominantly, interracial dating is not something that is too popular within our church; as I have seen less than a handful of these relationships make it to marriage; and all others being Korean/Vietnamese. Whatever the case, I am now looking at my options outside of church.

No. In some ways I am not ready for marriage as I have not accomplished the things I feel are necessary. One being, I would like to buy a house; and even possibly have it paid off prior to marriage. I just feel like that is the smart thing to do. I want my wife to feel secure knowing she doesn't have to worry about where we are going to live; or the bills. I want her life to be as easy as possible; even though I know that may not be completely realistic; it still is a thought.