Last night I had a nightmare about The Canadian. He showed up and started pestering me, begging me to come back and that he loved me all along. I just kept pushing him away and saying, "Get away from me! It's too late."
I know exactly why I dreamt of him too. Because of this. And maybe because around this time last year The Canadian and I were planning our New Year's escape.
I was talking to my stylist about why He stands out from all the other guys I've dated/had a fling with. The most important - He wants to be with me. That's it. In the past I've always been attracted to the guys who, yes, like me but for one reason or another can't be with me. Let's list it out, shall we?
- Former Work Crush - couldn't date me because we work together
- DK - couldn't date me because he didn't believe in defining relationships and wasn't around anyway
- The Canadian - couldn't date me because of his own midlife crisis and he's too caught up in wanting to have a "perfect relationship". Long distance is not perfect.
Tonight I put up a photo of Us in my apartment. I took the one of me and The Canadian out of the frame. On any other occasion I would have hid that photo away, but this time I tore it up.
That relationship was broken and now, so is the memory.
It's a new Us from now on.
I love this idea in spirit. In practice, let me tell you - all singles cruises are cougar cruises. Sure it's not organized or advertised as such, but the demographic for the ladies on a singles cruise sways a bit older. I was the youngest one when I went on my first cruise at 26. In general the singles cruises sway older for both sides.
It's a geriatric free-for-all on the high seas.
This weekend I went to my first baby shower...and it wasn't even my baby.
I started a Dating LA Tumblr. I don't need another blog, but I think it will motivate me to post a different kind of Dating LA content; more generalized about love and dating, and not as specific to my own dating experiences which I'll keep to this blog.
It's the holidays and this year I actually have holiday conflicts. Usually the default is to go home and spend it with my family. Now He's a major player. It's too soon to introduce Him to the folks. I've never introduced any of my boyfriends to my family before, so for me to do that...well, it really means something.
Thanksgiving I'm spending with Him. It just turned out that way. I was planning on going home for Thursday and Friday, but I booked another laser facial Friday. The plan is to spend Wed-Thurs-part of Friday with Him, and head home to recover at home with my parents after the procedure.
We've started talking about our Winter Holiday plans. Not sure what we're doing, but we've thrown around options. Go north again and venture into Napa. Go south and explore my hometown and eat carne asada fries. Or...
Go to Vegas...
Return to the scene of the cryme? I shudder internally at the thought, but wouldn't that be sweet justice and redemption for last year? Of course He doesn't know about the Canadian. He doesn't know the details about any of the dates I've been on. I'd rather keep it that way.
I'd rather forget it ever happened.
So, maybe I do need to do Vegas. For closure. To wipe that city clean (so to speak) for me. What do you think?
Otherwise my vote is for San Diego so I can eat carne asada fries everyday.
